DIY Joe's House of Horrors!

Finally the lights are up!

2010-11-14T02:44:00.000-08:00

When I told my partner that it it took me ages to get the lights on the wall, the response was "Yeah it sure did....7 years!!"

Anyway they are finally up! There was a bad stain on the wall caused by water damage.

I used Stain block paint first, which prevents the stain from showing through, and then painted the wall using the cream emulsion paint.

After I wired the lights into the wall, I used both foil and masking tape around the lights that were going to be painted a different colour to the wall. It's really not worth trying to paint the light carefully without getting paint on the wall. Spending a bit more time on preparation will save you hours later on.

So here is one of the lights on the light coloured wall.

Check out the new picture too. I found this in TK Maxx for about £10 and couldn't resist buying it. It's cut and shaped out of metal.

And here is the light on the taupe coloured wall.

I also replaced one of the plants that looked very sad and bare. If you aren't good with plants, in other words you forget to water them, can I recommend a yucca. I've never managed to kill one yet.

Finally, a night time shot, of the lights above the sofa. Now here is a piece of advice for you. If your walls are not in good condition, do not use up-lighters, because at night time they throw up a strong beam of light, as you can see here, onto the walls. Any bumps, marks and bad plastering or wallpaper will show up really badly.

Get creative!

2010-10-14T01:52:00.000-07:00

The thing I do like about Ikea is that some of the items are cheap enough that you can take the risk and customise them yourself. It you are paying a great deal for a piece of furniture, the chances are you won't want risk taking it to pieces and painting it etc. but if they are relatively cheap, it's fun to try.

So I took one of their wooden cd wall units......

.....and painted the back and outside frame in yellow. I kept the inside natural wood, then attached it to the wall in my older daughter's bedroom, and she filled it will things she liked.

I found these mirrored stars online from a shop called Dooley's. They look amazing on the wall and really sparkle in the sun. Not much diy involved in these. Drilled 3 holes, put in rawl plus and hung them up! The sizes are 46cm - 36cm - 26cm

Beats painting the bathroom ceiling.

Pine Cone Rainbow

2010-10-05T15:09:00.000-07:00

Well hasn't this blog been neglected! To be honest I haven't done a great deal of diy that's been worth mentioning. The frustrating part of our house is all the unfinished jobs to do in each room, and that's my fault. Not exciting things, just lights that need to be put up, painting, new curtains and carpets etc. We live on the top of a hill and in the winter we do get some water penetration into the house, and I still need to sort those issues out too. No doubt you'll hear all about these boring jobs too! I set up this blog to motivate myself to do some of the jobs around the house, and as a record, so I can look back and think "Hey I did get a few things done after all!"

Here is something I did that is slightly more fun and very cheap and effective. I took some pine cones and painted them.

Then I filled up a large glass vase. The vase is standing on the table that was originally used for the fish tank.

Here's a close up.

I was amazed at just how much paint I needed to make the cones look good. I had to use a primer too, as the colour just sank into the wood.

I think the end results look good, and as I say, cheap to do!

Even a diy fan needs a vacation

2010-09-10T11:54:00.000-07:00

Things have been very quiet around here because I was busy doing diy jobs in the States and when I returned to the UK we were away and then getting the kids ready for school.

That's my excuse and I'm sticking with it! I've done very little diy and what I have done is either really boring or hasn't worked!

Remember the one pink thing still in the kitchen?

The pink scales. Well I took them to bits to paint green. I was amazed how faded the pink looked.

I couldn't paint the circle of pink green because it would have obscured the numbers, and lets face it that's what kitchen scales are meant to be used for, weighing things, and I really don't like the end result at all. The green scales just don't work and look cheap and tacky. I've ordered some new black and silver ones from Ebay. This was a time when diy just didn't work.

Remember the weed covered drive?

That's done

And I've been busy cutting bushes and hedges. So I've been working but not on exciting tasks I'm afraid.

The most interesting thing about this post is that I fell off the ladder and fell straight into this bush. I was more nervous about damaging the hedge trimmers than anything else.

Not a golf club in sight

2010-08-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

So why the painted golf balls? First of all I used a tee to get maximum paint coverage. When they were touch dry, I just turned the ball over and painted the other side.

As usual I used Plastikote paint, and the green car paint I used in a previous post. I chose these colours so they would go in the extension.

I put them in a shallow glass bowl, and that's it! My partner and older daughter are very keen golfers so I thought this was just a nice, personal but fun thing to do. The balls echo the circles on the cushions.

I think this area of the house is more or less finished, apart from blinds, so I need to get back to some diy basics in other rooms, like painting walls, fixing lights etc.

The London Dungeon

2010-07-26T13:24:00.000-07:00

My older daughter was at the London Dungeon recently on a school trip, and she saw this skull mosaic and bought it for me. I was really moved because it's pretty big and heavy and cost a lot and she had to carry it around with her all day and she was worried it may get broken. She was so excited when she got home and could hardly wait to get through the front door before she gave it to me.

It's 15" high and when I first hung it on a white wall I thought it looked a bit bland, so then I mounted it onto a piece of black card, which I though looked unprofessional, so I added a photo frame which still wasn't enough for me!

Then I decided to add vinyl stripes that you use to customise a car, and foil stars, I also added glass to the the frame to make the whole thing more 3d.

What do you think? Honestly.

I had a lime green dream!

2010-07-22T15:37:00.000-07:00

Remember the last post with my new black mug tree? Well, I painted it green. So it started it's life pink, then black and now green.

And while I was painting this I decided to paint the liquidizer lid too.

I used car paint. I've never tried it before but I couldn't get the right colour in any other spray paint so I used a Rover green car paint. I must say the results were better than I had imagined.

Then I bought and made up some new green swan stools.

Spot the one thing still left in pink in the room!

Then I decided to get a bit creative. We'd bought tea towels and oven gloves with stripes and dots, and I thought that it would be great if we could have pictures on the wall with the same design. I bought a second pack of tea towels for £4, then 2 blank canvases for £5 each and a can of spray mount, and I created these 2 pictures on the wall. I simply cut the tea towels down in size, sprayed the canvases with glue, and mounted the ironed material onto the canvas. On the back I used a staple gun to stretch the fabric around the canvas frame. Hung each one on 2 screws. Simple. They remind me a bit of a Bridget Riley painting. Each picture cost under £10. Bargain!

They look wonky, but that's just my bad photograph.

So I've been busy. I'm also working on a skull mosaic that my older daughter bought, but it's not finished yet, and other half finished projects too! The company that were selling the Space Invaders and coloured Keyboard canvases that I mentioned in my last post went under and cancelled my order, so unfortunately we never received those images. I bought this instead.

It's called "Disco Balls". So how could I not buy it!

Pink to black

2010-06-26T13:25:00.000-07:00

Someone, I'm hoping as a joke, gave us this mug tree. Yeah very me, right?

So I painted it and bought new mugs.

I'm also thinking of buying these prints online to go in the kitchen. How cool is the Space Invaders one?

Because I wasn't sure how the top canvas would look I took a photo of where I want it to go in the kitchen and then added the picture in photoshop. Gives a rough idea of if it will look okay. Oh and I sneaked in something else but you'll have to guess what that is.

No time for lounging about!

2010-06-18T12:33:00.000-07:00

About time too.... I've done something new, but don't get over excited because it's hardly like I've painted London Bridge.

We need some new loungers to go with our outdoor furniture.

So far so good.

I bought them from John Lewis's budget range. £99 each, which doesn't sound that cheap until you start looking around at other loungers and realise that this is a very good price. Problem is they didn't go with our other outdoor furniture, so I decided to paint them white. I started by giving the chair 2 coats of Primer.

The wood was far rougher and more basic than I had imagined. By this stage I was beginning to regret touching them at all. I used the Black & Decker sanding mouse to give a better finish.

I used the plastikote gloss white paint to get a more professional look, plus it's much quicker to use. I also removed the black rubber bands from the wheels which was easier than trying to avoid getting white paint all over them.

This is the end result.

The finish isn't as smooth as I would have wanted, but the amount of money I saved by painting the chairs myself was massive. The only other white wooden lounger I could find on-line was £245, so even with the cans of paint it was worth doing, plus the more expensive loungers didn't go as well with our other furniture either.

Amazing what you can do with a bit of paint!

Is this diy?

2010-05-28T07:33:00.000-07:00

So I bought a cap.

and some iron on stars from Wal-Mart.

I added just the white ones to the cap, and after ironing them in place found the nearest vase to press the cap and keep it in shape, much to my partners amusement.

My partner grinned from ear to ear and said "You know that is just so you! Something like this just sums you up." In other words, I'm as nutty as a fruit cake.

Where was I ? Oh the finished cap! Here's the back view:

and the front:

Now the boring stuff. Flatpack furniture is always a shock after you've seen the finished item in the catalogue and then they hand you a cardboard box full of pieces.

About an hour later, and after a bucket full of swear words, I finished the filling cabinets for our 15 year old daughter's room. The idea is that she uses them to get organised. Pigs might fly.

And as quickly as I make one thing, another falls to pieces. The wing of my American eagle that I made a few years back fell off. Painful. Anyway, it's all fixed and back on the wall. Joey deserves a beer.

Purple Squirrel Tails

2010-05-24T15:05:00.000-07:00

Very little diy is getting done inside the house, as the focus has been on outside. For many years our garden has been totally unloved, so for the first time ever I've been planting out pots. I couldn't resist the above plant called a Celosia with it's eye catching feathery plumes that last for one season Spring - Summer. The other and more important feature is that they were cheap!

We have 13 acres and most of it is just untouched meadow land. We do keep a path clear through the land for when we have guests who fancy burning up a few calories by walking around the fields. Unfortunately during the winter several trees had fallen down and were now blocking the path.

My job was to chop down the trees and clear the way.

Looks a great deal better I think. It you are a bit nervous about swinging a chain saw around then can I recommend the Black & Decker Scorpion electric saw for medium size cutting of wood? Obviously it's not going to chop up massive trees but for small jobs it's a brilliant gadget!

I'm now in the middle of spraying some garden furniture we bought, white. If the results are ok I'll post them here soon.

Give it a week and they'll all be dead

2010-05-02T14:05:00.000-07:00

I did say that sometimes this blog would not be that exciting, and I apologise in advance for this post. Sometimes I add things here to motivate myself to get off my butt and do stuff around the house before I get nagged. Did I just say that?

The last 2 weeks I've been concentrating on more plants both inside and outside the house.

Here we have one of our many bare, unloved areas in the home.

So I found this dirty old plant stand in the garage.

Cleaned it up, and added a plant and some white stones.

Then I decided I hated the brown pot, so

I spray painted it with black Plastikote high gloss paint.

Next I added 3 new plants to the stainless pots that have been empty for 2 years. Well apart from a few dead wasps.

I managed to get one more uplighter up on the wall in the lounge. I still have 2 more to put up and then they all need to be painted. I'm painting them the same colour as the walls..eventually.

Back to the outside. We didn't want to go to expense of buying all new plant pots as well as plants, so I've just used what was around and a few pots that the previous owners of the house left here. I picked the wrong plant for the tall pot. I assumed it was trailing, and it's not and looks a bit stupid, but I don't feel like changing it, and I still think it looks better than nothing!

And finally, (so wake up), I did two more containers of pansies, which of course won't last through out the summer, but look okay now. As you can see from this photo, the walls also need to be planted out with something and we need more pots too. It's kind of never ending.

Going potty

2010-04-18T07:00:00.000-07:00

Geez this blog doesn't get much attention, which means I'm not doing much diy right? I have been outside on the land, but a gardener I'm not. I mean I can cut grass and hedges. Dig and weed, chop down trees and pressure washer patios etc. But ask me to plant anything or try and grow plants and I'm really out of my depth.
This lovely display of broken pots, weeds and rotting leaves has been by our back door for the last few years.

So after a vist to the diy store to buy a new toilet seat, I saw these plants on sale. Buy one, get one free. And for Dean's interest the plant is called a Senetti. I've never heard or seen one before. Does anyone know what I have to do to keep them alive?

I'm not sure this is much of an approvement than what was there before really, and I'm not convinced by the sphere either. Has anyone any suggestions as to how I can cover up the nasty rusty pipes that are coming out of the wall behind the pots too?

You light up my world - a small part of it, anyway

2010-03-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

It was August last year I showed this wire sticking out of the lounge walls. 6 uplighters needed to be fitted.

I've done 2.

Maybe by this August they'll all be done. Maybe if I wasn't busy cleaning down garage doors I'd get them finished sooner! Looks like the paint work around the garage doors needs some attention too!

I'll add it to the ever growing list....

Can you help me?

2010-02-09T08:32:00.000-08:00

The idea was always to put the guitar and skull I'd created together in the dining room. The style is similar and I wanted to find a suitable corner for them both to go.

Like this.

But I wasn't happy with the tall black stand the skull was sitting on. Infact it's a cd unit that I took to pieces. That's why you can see the screws on both sides. I decided to add some wooden beading to both sides and then add some more interest by painting it silver and adding more gems.

I'm not sure if I like the end results. I'd really like your honest opinion because I could repaint the unit black again. Does the silver work?

Do you diy?

2010-02-05T09:38:00.000-08:00

Do you save money where you can by repairing things yourself? My partner bought me a watch and I needed to remove some links from the strap. Now if I take that to a shop they'll charge me quite a bit so I decided to buy one of these from Hong Kong, and do it myself.

This Salvador Dali clock in our dining room hasn't worked for months. The hands were broken. So I bought new parts for it on Ebay and now it works fine again. The pendulum is blurred because it swings from side to side.

Finally I bought some new trainers and one of them is discoloured. So I used my Dremel polishing tool and gently removed a layer of the yellowing rubber. I was given a big discount because of the problem but now they look fine. This is before I used my Dremel.

Have guitar, will bling

2010-01-26T15:29:00.000-08:00

I bought a cheap woodcraft guitar kit off ebay.

I couldn't help but think that this kit could have the potential to be something better. I bought a round piece of 10" MDF, some birch wood 20mm circles and stars and painted everything with primer paint.

Then I started to customise the guitar with bits and pieces. Here's the final result that I finished today.

I have put a larger copy of the photo on my Coolness Captured blog because I'm limited to small photos here.

I know it's been ages, but it has been Christmas time!

2010-01-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

Do you remember this? In our new extension there is a design fault on the roof. There is one small outlet that drains away any excess water on the roof. If this outlet gets blocked with leaves etc the water has no place to go and runs inside the house. Hence the stained walls. The damage also caused the plaster to crack and blew the lights too.

This is what I've been doing this week.

I'm not an expert on plastering, far from it, and I'm not one hundred percent happy with the results here, but it still looks a great deal better than it did! I used a stain block first. 3 layers, and then one layer of undercoat on the plaster and 2 layers of vinyl matt paint to finish. I started by using a paint brush but wasn't that happy with the results so used a roller brush. If you've never used a roller brush, I strongly recommend you do because it's much quicker and the results are better.

More gardening than diy

2009-11-15T10:42:00.000-08:00

Firstly can I recommend this book to anyone interested in DIY. It covers the basics from wiring a plug to plumbing a bathroom. It's really excellent. Full of step by step illustrations and photos.

So things have been quiet here. In other words I've been busy trying to sell stuff on Ebay than doing projects around the house or garden.

One of the worst parts of our house are the stables. We live on the top of a hill and everything turns green. I've started washing down the doors and clearing out the guttering.

Then I got bored and moved onto the leaves.

Then I got bored and came inside. The most successful way to clean up the green walls and moss is a pressure washer.

The rain has stopped play...back to Ebay

Rotten through and through

2009-10-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's better to leave a job to the experts. Adding new soffit boards and guttering to the front of our house, was one of those jobs. They finished the work yesterday.

As you can see the original boards were in a terrible state. Now of course the purists out there will cringe at the upvc cladding, and be telling me that we've destroyed the character of the house by not keeping the timber. Yeah right. You try and maintain and paint the timber each year, and I think you'll see the advantages the plastic has over the wood!

Boring, but necessary

2009-10-17T03:32:00.000-07:00

So I've been quiet on the diy front. Well actually I haven't, but I've not worked on my list of must do jobs. Outside work is getting more tricky now as the weather is become cold and wet.

I had a heavy session of dj-ing last weekend and my gear was really showing signs of wear and tear. So I decided to spend the week cleaning, painting and repairing the equipment before putting it away. The castor on the bass bin had finally broken off, meaning that I could no longer get it into another venue. Tracking down one new wheel was impossible, so I had to replace all 4. I was a bit jumpy drilling large holes into the speaker, as this piece of equipment along with the decks is the most critical piece of my gear. If this fails, there is NO music for the night. If one of my other speakers fails it's just that speaker that doesn't work. This subwoofer powers everything. And boy does it look tatty. Not anymore. I've replaced the wheels and repainted the whole thing. Of course the punters can't see this, but even so, it's important to look good even when you are setting up. First impressions count!

Also the boards that all my equipment sit on looked awful too.

So I sanded them down and repainted them all with Plasti-kote High Gloss black paint. I hate seeing brush strokes, so the spray gives a really great glass like finish.

Unfortunately my partner wasn't so happy with the black grass!!

Edited to add this for Deans benefit.

See it's like a Goth doorway, into their underworld isn't it? :D

Remember my skull?

2009-10-04T11:13:00.000-07:00

Well it's finally finished.

I used a pair of my old shades and covered them with gems, and added silver foil to the teeth and sprayed an old cap of mine silver and added more gems.

What do you think?

The Lion sleeps tonight

2009-10-01T16:24:00.000-07:00

Take one silver lion.

Spray him gold with Plasti-Kote paint.

Now repeat steps one and two with second lion. Insert golden lions in porch to go with door handle, letterbox and light.

New lions highlight the fact that the bushes outside need cutting and the porch needs painting. These have now become the next 2 jobs to be done.

The idea behind the lions is really a piss take of the formal statues you see outside Stately homes and at Trafalgar Square, London. If the word Kitsch sprung into your thoughts, then you understand the concept all too well.

Now go and spray something gold and report back to me!

Painting the Golden Gate

2009-09-25T05:47:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed, that I've not added much to this blog recently? That's because this damn gate has taken so long!

I started by sanding down the door and frame. Can I suggest the Black & Decker Mouse for this kind of job, it's brilliant.

I then gave it a coat of primer, then 3 coats of undercoat and one of Gloss paint. Now I'm bored by it.

It's amazing how often as soon as I go outside to work in the front garden the world and his dog appear from nowhere. Yesterday I was outside painting, when a car pulled up onto our drive and this slightly strange looking man got out the car and said to me "Who are you?" I thought you are standing on my drive and asking who am I???

I said "I could ask you the same question!" He continued without a smile "I'm looking for the owner of this house and you look just like the decorator".

Bloody cheek! I grinned "Yes I do look like a decorator, but I'm also the owner of the house too".

He reluctantly gave me something to sign and handed me an envelope.

I left nasty white finger marks all over his pen.

I'm still working!

2009-09-12T15:59:00.000-07:00

Just incase you think I'm now sitting on my arse doing nothing, well actually right now, I am, but I haven't been!

Remember this:

So now it looks like this:

I'm still working on this:

A piece of advice. Get the blades on your hedge trimmer sharpened. Mine need it and it makes the job take a great deal longer.

I'm really bored of cutting bloody hedges and I'm sure you are equally bored reading about them. I just tell myself that I'm saving money doing it myself.

Short, back and sides

2009-09-05T16:08:00.000-07:00

So have I achieved any other jobs on my list of 10 things that needed doing? The lion is still on the wall, but what about the other 9 tasks? Well I've cut the front hedges. Not all of them, but the ones you can see here:

It's a much bigger job than it looks. Add to that, I have to go into the field with 2 horses which I always think are going to head butt me off the ladder and over the hedge. I tend to think that the hedge trimmer is a dangerous weapon. After a while I get a bit tired and start swinging it around in a lazy manner. The way it chops through thick branches I reckon it would chop my arm off with ease.

If I hadn't set this blog up I doubt I would have bothered doing this job, so I hope you are impressed?

So what's next on the list?

I bought a skull

2009-09-03T02:01:00.000-07:00

Just ignore the beer bottle in the background, that's for inspiration. I bought this life size skull yesterday. I couldn't resist. I want to make it into a work of art, if it's possible. A bit like a Damien Hirst piece of artwork.

I thought maybe I could add white and black gems in the eyes and around the ridges you can see at the back.

But I'm not sure. I don't want it looking tacky. Any ideas?

(When I went to pay for this skull they were going to charge me for a bag, so I said I'd just take it as it is. You should have seen the looks I got carrying this under my arm through the carpark!)

The bathroom

2009-08-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

Remember I showed this photo of our bathroom?

Well it looks like this now.

Here's the other end of the room with the shower. Isn't it cool the way you don't have to have a shower tray now and can just tile the shower part the same as the rest of the floor?

My favourite part of the new bathroom is the towel heater. There are cool little touches in this room. The old white pipes going to the heater were covered with fake chrome metal covers to make it look more finished. The old light pull has a new heavy chrome pull switch on it.

I have to say I didn't do much of the work in this room, I just choose what was going to go into it.

If you are very observant you'll notice I still haven't painted the ceiling white. Oops. That's for another post.

Remember the brick wall?

2009-08-30T14:11:00.000-07:00

So after 2 years I actually managed to put something in it.

It's just a resin plaque, but it adds a bit of interest.

Words of advice, that you can ignore or tell me are obvious. If you are going to add something like this outside don't just bang a nail in the wall hoping it will be good enough. Use an electric drill, rawl plug and screw. Otherwise first puff of wind and it's goodbye plaque, hello empty wall..again.

Never centre anything within a space. Obviously you do on the width across, but not on the depth. Off centre has so much more class! So my mother says.

I always use a measure, calculator and spirit level. Never trust your eyes to get something straight, so to speak.

I used Tipex (is that White Out to Americans?) to mark where my drill hole was going.

Sounds like a load of fuss over one screw hole, but trust me it's worth it in the end, otherwise it will look like Woody Woodpecker has attacked your wall.

New blog

2009-08-29T11:53:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog! I've really set this place up to encourage myself to do some of the diy jobs that need doing in our house and on the land. This isn't going to a dramatic blog full of photos of me putting a new roof onto the house, but just about small boring achievements.

I listed some of the work I needed to do on Joey's Pad, and I'm going to start with some before and after shots of any tasks I actually manage to do.

I'm totally aware that this sounds as about exciting as watching paint dry, (pun intended) but any support, encouragement and even the odd nag would be appreciated.

I also want to include photos of some of the work that we get done by tradesmen too, and maybe just general tips and ideas connected with any DIY and Garden projects inside or outside the home.

Also I'd love to add your achievements too. So if there's anything you want to add that comes under the "Do-it-yourself" banner please let me know and you can become a guest blogger here.

What do you think?